I start lots of classes with this line. Or maybe I just interrupt classes with this line. I'm not sure, but the point is that when it comes to teaching, I'm always reaching.
Can I help it if Hotspur from 1 Henry IV reminds me exactly of George W. Bush? I mean, really. He's got no perception of reality, he believes in himself to such a degree that it would be admirable if not so damn destructive, and he can't see any other version of the world but his own (I'll admit, sometimes that's a difficult one for me to, but that's fodder for another blog).
Or if Falstaff (same play), has a point when it comes to eschewing honor for living, that life is more important than your ideals (or at least, that's the coward's--Brooke's--point of view)? And how this belief made me think of Harvey Milk's struggle for gay rights, that idealist, that activist who died for his cause because he wouldn't stop fighting for it?
Or if in my freshman comp class, I illustrate what it's like to be a great interviewer by using the example of Stephen Colbert, who is so indeed brilliant at getting people to say outrageous statements that he got Rep. Robert Wexler (D-Florida) to say on camera, "Cocaine is a fun thing to do"?
These analogies often fall on deaf ears. Or maybe they're listening and getting it, I can't tell anymore. But here's what their eyes say: What the fuck is she talking about? I'm talking about the work, of course, I'm trying to talk about life and patterns, about the meaningfulness of all of it, the meaning of the work within themselves. But. I think for the 18-20 age range this is a little bit of the too much, too fast, too soon.
And do you know what that reminds me of? This reaching for analogies is like when I tried to get boys to fall in love with me on the first date. It wasn't like I even loved them! But I thought, surely, this person should love me, he's just a guy...and I'm Brooke! I'll decide later whether or not I'll love them back.
Only this didn't usually work. After dates with sundry undergraduates I wasn't loved nor did I love in return. We did drink a lot of Purple People Eaters though. And backed our asses up on the dance floor. Ah, late 90s, you were a time.
What else doesn't work, I must at long last admit, is this reaching in the classroom. What am I trying to do? My analogies might be good for a couple of chuckles (haha! she said "cocaine") but I don't think much learning is going on. Isn't that my goal?
(Though secretly, or as it were, not so secretly, don't I believe that being liked by students is an important pedagogical tool, and if they're laughing even a little, I'm doing something right? Aren't they learning to appropriately react to a teacher's desires? Yeah. That sounds good to me.)
So I'm going to try an analogy to make you understand my meaning here. My analogy-reaching with my students is kinda like when I'd try to go too fast in love with sundry undergraduates more than a decade ago. I'd go, "Love me now!" Then they'd go, "Hold on, lady, let's do a few shots first."
Yeah. That's exactly what it's like.
"...don't I believe that being liked by students is an important pedagogical tool..."
ReplyDeleteI think it is, but I gotta tell you, it's not as important to me as it was during my time at LSU--or during my brief and chaotic semester at Southeastern. (Remember that, by the way?) Sometimes I feel as though I had less to say--less to teach--back then, so I compensated with charm, or some imitation thereof. I probably didn't take teaching as seriously then as I do now either.
All of that said, I'm not sure if I could even charm my students anymore. Not to say that I'm an old fart stick in the classroom or anything, but man, the divide between my students and me seems to have grown. In fact, it's grown to such an extent now that I feel like the old man trying to be the cool guy when I make efforts to be liked. Maybe that's the problem, though? Making efforts to be liked?
So that's it. Thanks for letting me think out loud a bit.
Holy shit, Scott. You're right on the mark. (I'm sometimes slow in realizing this stuff.)
ReplyDeleteI DO feel like I'm a lot older than my students, and I also feel like I have to keep apologizing for it. My new hip way to be cool is by admitting how not-hip and not-cool I am. I never had to try before!
That said, I also think we're better teachers now...we HAVE to be. Our director of first year comp (I'm assistant director now, by the way--fancy pants) said to me recently that no matter how great you'll one day be, your first three years of teaching writing will be sucky. And thankfully, you'll only realize this later, once you aren't sucky anymore.
Anyway, thanks for reading the blog, bud. I see you have one and I will follow it worshipfully. Did I ever tell you I think it's awesome you're get the doc? Happy days!
Yeah, I could probably sum up my approach now as follows: I'm older, you're younger, now let's talk about some shit.
ReplyDeleteAnd while that may not serve as evidence that I'm a better teacher now than I was at LSU and Southeastern, I damn well know I am. And perhaps for no other reason that what your director told you. Congrats for being the assistant director, by the way. That's awesome. And while this is probably a Facebook question, I'll ask it here: Where are you and Brock now?
p.s.--Thanks regarding the doc. I've been at this thing for two and a half years, and I'm still not convinced that I'm in a Ph.D. program. What's that Radiohead lyric? "I'm not here. This isn't happening."